Smile

Never liked to be the cause of tears, have been a few times in my life, but haven't we all?

In the last couple of weeks there have been a few tears, the difference being they were not all tears of sadness, some ran down over a smile. When you were a child (or had a child) did you ever laugh and cry at the same time? Didn't it feel wonderful and kind of energising? Well thats what it feels like inside me right now and still through it all, there is good news to be had, there is always good news to be had and in the words of Labi Siffre, crying (and smiling) never did nobody, no harm.

I made a close friend cry his eyes out this morning over coffee, I gave him some good news and he was happy for me and it made me smile. Admittedly we were both drinking the strongest double shot cortados this side of the equator, and we are both bordering on lunacy, but still.

Not wishing to be flippant, I always thought that my life was a series of a roller coster rides and right now I am on the mother of them all. I know that witnessing is hardest on those close to me, and although it breaks my heart to even think about the possibility of the ride finishing (without me to watch over things and wag my busy little index finger), I don't dread what happens next, but I think they do.

Not being negative either, I have rarely been guilty of that and I believe it is far from my time to check out, but I am trying to live in the now. Thats why I am writing this now, I am not putting anything off any more, (nor should any of us). So, if and when the time comes and if you know me, do cry for me, but don't overdo it, you'll still have some smiling to do.

My boy Bruce always has the words:

Don't worry, darlin'
No baby, don't you fret
We're livin' in the future
And none of this has happened yet.

Livin' in the future - turn it up as loud as you fucking can and smile.

Photo: Bad Scooterist Parc du Pyrénees, Pau 2016, smiling about all the things he used to do on grass.